Today a person said “You need to do….”. It made me feel so annoyed! I had already been doing that and it doesn’t work. They had only seen a snippet of the situation and felt they knew better and had the right to advise. I was proud for not letting my annoyance show. I was proud to not go in another room and complain about that person to another person. I was proud when we had a meeting late in the day and said “I have been doing that”. Still perturbed thinking about it though. Unsolicited advice. How does one let another person know, in a kind way, to just not go there?
Tired of people telling me
Published by kflockhart
I've enjoyed writing since the first grade, since my aunt gave me a journal so long ago to write in. Now I write to enjoy the moments. I write to stretch and share my thoughts. I write to connect and find calm. Raising three kids, three rabbits and two cats, with a school social work career, I need the daily refuge writing offers. The simple reflections allow for an abundance of memories to the hurried pace of life. View more posts
Karas Cottage Thoughts 
If you figure out how to respond to or stop unsolicited advice, please let me know. Walking around with an unruly puppy brings out LOTS of advice givers. I know they are well-intentioned, but so many times I can’t hear what they are saying. I’m not ready. One time I literally said, “I know you have much more experience than me and you are trying to help me, but I can’t have this conversation right now. I am not in the right place. ” She stopped talking and moved along. Small victory.
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I can feel the tension and the heaviness of the unsolicited advice in this post. While often advice given is done so with good intentions, many times it’s not. People need to remember that words do hurt!
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My peeve right now is if one more administrator or coach tells me to breathe. I think I might explode! Unsolicited advice is annoying, isn’t it. And when I go to a Child Study Team meeting and they say,”Have you tried…?” Of course, I have! 😦
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Yes that is annoying! People should only offer advice if being asked! Glad you stood up for what you are already doing.
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You bring up such a big and important issue. I’ve listened in on conversations that go in that direction. I believe for some people it is the only way they know how to show support. I feel your frustration. Sometimes it feels demeaning, being told what you should do or need to do. I hope your day improved!
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I read this yesterday and wanted to comment since I had a similar experience at my last job. It is very annoying that people feel like they can do this to other professionals. You’d ask if you needed their opinion, right?! I agree that it is demeaning and demoralizing to be treated in this fashion. I also realize the energy it takes to remain cool and level-headed while steaming inside. I think you handled it well. Hopefully, they got the message.
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